Random: The World’s First Gamer Nut Butter Is Made For Gamers To Eat While Gaming

Image: Jobbie / Felicity Tai via Pexels

No one ever thinks of the gamers. We have had to suffer through decades of disrespect, forced to eat regular, non-gamer meals with the rest of the normies. They say that some foods are the “breakfast of champions”, but what about the Smash Bros. champions, huh? What about the people who always win at Mario Kart Grand Prix 200CC Baby Park, Mr Kellogg? Will nobody help the poor gamers?

Yes. Our saviour is here, and it’s peanut butter-shaped.

The nut butter in question is called “Jobbie Pong”, a name that was almost certainly not focus tested in Scotland, and is made as a collaboration between Jobbie, a Malaysian peanut butter company, and Zotac Gaming Malaysia, a PC parts manufacturer.

Please do not snort the gamer nut butter.
Please do not snort the gamer nut butter. (Image: Jobbie)

The name is actually a combination of the Jobbie founders’ names — Joseph and Debbie — plus a reference to Pong, the video game. And the butter itself is a combination, too: A crunchy peanut mousse made from dry roasted peanuts, mixed with freeze-dried blueberries and strawberries to get that PB&J taste in one jar.

Jobbie Pong is supposed to be eaten by the spoon, we’re told, and used in the same way that you would eat an energy bar — except for gaming. The blueberries contain carotenoids, which are good for the eyes (for long hours of screen time) and the strawberries are rich in antioxidants, helping to improve cognitive functions (for faster reaction times).

The individual jars cost RM 56, or about $13 / £10, but we’re pretty sure we could claim this as an expense. Because it’s for gamers.

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